Hate myself why

But studies have shown that, much like reframing or meditation, self-compassion is a trainable skill. Everyone has been where you are at one point or another, and most need a little help to get through. Start by asking yourself a few basic questions:. Next, start making a list of therapists in your area. If you live in the U. Concerned about the cost? Our guide to affordable therapy can help. Here are five…. Self-care is more than what some have commercialized it to be. But why are we still feeling like self-care is selfish?

Adding these 10 simple self-care strategies to your daily routine can be effective for managing depression. Burnout is a state of mental and physical exhaustion that can zap the joy out of your career, friendships, and family interactions. Here are psychologists' take on it. An introvert is often thought of as a quiet, reserved, and thoughtful individual. Experts say the COVID pandemic added to the stresses of job insecurity and food shortages already felt by People of Color and young adults.

You've heard the term countless times, but what does having a type A personality actually mean? If they were going through a rough time, you would remind them that everyone makes mistakes.

Offer that same understanding to yourself. In these cases, therapy can be a gamechanger. Created with Sketch. Other times, self-hatred can be a feeling from within.

What causes self-hate? Your early childhood experiences Just as our parents can equip us with the tools to grow our confidence and self-esteem, the opposite can also be true. Bullying Were you ever the victim of bullying? Challenge negative thoughts Do you ever get stuck in a spiral of negative thoughts? Practice positive self-compassion Self-hatred festers in the absence of self-compassion.

Start your therapy journey today Get matched to a psychologist, and have your first therapy session the same day. Get Started. Why am I always tired and have no energy?

My Online Therapy Jul 9, My Online Therapy Sep 24, Whatever the cause, the emotional consequences of not liking yourself can be devastating. This can damage your self-esteem, especially if it is from a parent or caregiver who is supposed to love you.

This does not mean your parents are the cause of all your problems, but these internalized messages can continue to cause you inner turmoil for the rest of your life, if you let it. Of course, nobody had the perfect childhood and not everyone ends up hating themselves as an adult.

There are online counselors you can talk to who know exactly how to help you. They have been trained in these issues, and can help and guide you to manage your self-loathing. Also, there are many ways you can help yourself, such as talking about it, writing your feelings down, finding activities that make you happy, or even utilizing exercise or meditation.

Writing down your feelings always seems to help, even when you do not believe that it will. Try to find a good reason for your negative self-image, and write it down. In fact, write down as many reasons as you can think of. It may not be as easy as you think it will be, even if you constantly say to yourself, "I hate myself".

And when you read what you wrote, you may just realize that these reasons are wrong. It always helps to get your feelings out; and seeing them written in black and white makes a big difference. There are also physical things you can do to make yourself feel better such as working out, going for a walk, relaxation techniques, or just taking a bath with some nice scented candles or incense. These may seem silly but just taking the time to do something for yourself can make a big difference for your self-concept.

Talking to someone seems to help no matter who the other person is. Some people have trouble talking to friends about their personal feelings, especially thoughts like "I hate myself", so talking to a counselor or therapist online is a good choice.

Also, there are chat rooms and support groups for every issue, including self-loathing. Many people do not realize that negative thinking is one of the biggest creators and perpetuators of poor self-esteem.

Do you disqualify positives and maximize negatives about yourself? Do you make unfavorable comparisons between yourself and others? Do you have rigid expectations of yourself? If so, you are likely sending a lot of messages to yourself that are resulting in your self-esteem continuing to get worse.

It is critical to identify, challenge, and replace negative self-talk. Licensed counselors are experts at helping others change self-talk. My home life is not good but was living a perfect college life. I had a crush on my school friend and my luck was so good that he used to met me everyday on station, I was topper of my college …except my home life my life was just perfect but then my best friend started feeling anxious and c betrayed me.

I started my life again with new friends but my new friend also betrayed me. Now I am feeling alone and this family problem is making me negative. My every try to make my life good are waste. I have suffered my entire life from a father that never noticed the good and only focused on the bad in my life- sometimes even inventing negative things just to bring me down. My mother became a ghost of who she had been and my siblings would team up against me and often times leave me stranded in situations where I would have been there for them.

I am the oldest sibling and have always tried my hardest to be kind and caring, to be a great brother and son, but no matter what I did, I let my family down. I often feel alone, and I know how easy it is to let negativity influence our own day to day walk. It hurts. It hurts when the supportive structure that your family should have been crumbles and any achievement you make never seems good enough. Or even seems like it will last or be significant. But, reading your story, and knowing I am not alone in the pain and the sorrow brings hope.

We are surrounded by people who care about us, the world is not all bad. I read your story though, and I am sorry. You have my prayers and my thoughts. There was also this guy I Had a crush on in sixth grade before I went to high school, he was funny and cute and he gave little signs of him liking me back but there was also another girl he liked and he gave more attention because hey what guy or guys would have a crush on a fat girl like me!

Every night I would feel moody and cry myself to sleep because I feel like I want to die. Because being me sucks a lot and no matter if I was thin or skinny I would still feel the same way because my family gives me loads of pressure.

But reading article taught me something and I would try to fight through it and continue my education so I can get a good job, better shape and size and stop worry about people! Hello, Rose. I am also a 13 year old girl though you are at this time 16 but I just want to let you know that you are not alone in this. I personally know that I am not medically overweight, but I do understand how it feels to dislike yourself.

The sad truth about the world is that we are constantly saying to do certain things, yet no one actually follows them. Everyone knows that judgement based on appearance is incorrect in general, however everyone does it. And by the way, starving yourself is not the answer. This is especially harmful because your heart is a muscle, putting you at risk for heart attacks and other conditions.

Other medical conditions can cause this, not just overeating. Sometimes it is hard to feel like there are other people out there who are suffering to the extent you are, but trust me, you are not the only one. I personally struggle with insecurities about my worth, simply because of who I am. My only strengths seem to be my mind and my heart. Good luck. U have a good hart and are very brave and strong i can tell from your story. I can totally relate to that. Hard to talk to most.

Thanks for sharing?? You Go Gurl! But watch your mouth! Bye bye. Aloha im anuhea and i am such a confused person. There is points in my life where i am like why try and that has actually been my way of thinking for the past 6 years.

I have never been able to see anything positive about myself, i was never able to get close to anyone… not even friends, i truly believed tht im stupid for living and i keep messing up on anything in life. For some reason i always look at the negative side of things.. N i hate it because i see myself bringing down other people and it hurts me to see that im hurting other people, i never thought anyone would care bout what i had to say.

N its funny bc that was probably the only time they heard what i had to say. But im done with all tht BS. Im done with filling my head with negative thoughts, im done thinking im not good enough for anything.

Ill just keep on thinking positive as well as challenging my inner critic! I know you have so, so, soooooo much to give. Keep going on your journey, and love yourself as best you can. You deserve to be loved by you! I promise, the more you can love yourself, the better you can love others and the better your relationships will be overall. I KNOW you can do it. Believe in yourself. You have TONS to give, and your positive spirit is what people need.

Stay strong!! I do what I love for a living -my life is a dream come true. Glad I did. But my chest is still heavy. Every thought, every decision, every interaction is an anxiety attack. When I eat I make bad decisions and this is the part the contributes to my self destructive tendencies. I tell myself healthy food is not delicious even though I KNOW this is what my body needs but inner critic is an asshole and more than often wins the debate.

But its my self image that struggles. When my two selves debate, the inner critic is a louder voice because now I figure it echoes the many opinions that were inflicted on me in the past. So every negative opinion aired about my outfit or my weight or whatever was very much taken to heart. It was pressure on my parents too. The meanest thing my mom said to me was that the only thing beautiful on me at the time was my hair. It was wrong. She sees me look at myself and sigh. But its there. I need to change.

Thank you for your comment, May. Overcoming the critical inner voice is not always easy, especially because the inner critic possesses all the intelligence we do hence, the great debate. The book Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice offers a step-by-step program to counter negative thoughts and overcome the inner critic. How would that influence your behavior and your thinking? How about each team arguing against having to pick you at all?

Not picked last, but instead not picked at all? What about watching those teams negotiate with each other about what they will do so neither side will have to let you play with their team…. I can understand intellectually what people tell me, as an example: where I work we are rewarded for our positive contributions with awards or incentives… so every time I am given an award or a performance bonus — I understand intellectually that this is a positive statement.

Those playground moments can haunt you for the rest of your life. I came from a loving family, but I felt completely alone facing the bullies in P. Best of luck to you in working through it. I am with you there my friend. I have spent most of my adult life in the gym trying to overcome and compensate for my feelings of inferiority as a man because I sucked at sports.

My father was good man but he never interacted with me much or taught me how to fit in with other guys. He just worked. I hope you are getting better my friend. Please never give up.

Every little bit of your story is near identical to mine. For me the abuse was not restricted to gym class; I was avoided by my classmates in all situations. In the breaks I would try to stay inside, maybe even hide to avoid having to hang around in the court yard, where everyone could see that I was alone.

The teachers noticed this, and were concerned. In collaboration with my parents they tried to get me some therapy, so that I would become more like the others more likable? That never happened, but I think it led to a feeling of shame that I never quite let go off. Luckily, after graduation, I never saw the worst of the bullies ever again.

I was later informed that some of them became heroin addicts, which now just fills me with a deep sadness of a system that let down the most troubled of the children.

I started high school and meeting a bunch of new kids, unaware of my past, helped me a great deal. For some time I thought I had put the abusive years behind me, but as of lately I have become more aware of the insecurities that were created during that time. My experiences have left me with a deep feeling of shame for my own existence, and I find myself nearly paranoid in some settings, wishing I was invisible. Hearing others stories that are similar to mine is reassuring, as we need to build a collective understanding of the fact that we are not guilty of our own self-loathing.

Properly learning that it is NOT a realistic voice will probably take a lot of time and effort, but this article sparks a hope in me that it can be done.

I hope it does so for you and for others with a similar history. I was always alone and left out in school and none of the teachers or my parents seemed to care. I thought that when I left school things would be different and I would get rid of all those insecurities but they only seem to get worse. Wow, that was well written and insightful really! Something for me to think about.

If you say some of your ways of thinking are crazy, how can you be sure that your able to tell which ones arent crazy? My story is very similar to yours. I have worked through more in twelve months than I have in thirty years following the divine truth teachings. My god. Someone understands.

I still am lost and want to -just stop and get off this hellish ride. I am sorry to hear of your pain. It is good you have reached out and good for you to know help is available and things do change. Your feelings are not permanent. If you are interested in learning more about overcoming your inner critic, you may like to read this article on Steps to Overcome Your Critical Inner Voice. PsychAlive is not a counseling site, but we can offer resources where you can get assistance 24 hours per day.

If you live in another country, you can email [email protected] and visit Samaritans website for help. Do not do anything to hurt yourself and remain safe. Wow, every sentence of that article strikes a chord with me.

It is one sad song. Thankyou, it has reinforced and put into words what I was realising about myself. This is an article of hope! Go to these sources, and the above-recommended book as inspirations and guides when a real bad time strikes.

We all have the up and downs that come with our self-hate; mine is deeply intertwined with depression. But I can see that there are rays of hope shining through the dark abyss that I thought I was in. Hope and faith will see you through? If someone said that to you when you were depressed you would want to puke on them. I hate myself because I am who I am and I so badly wish I could leave this body for a new one, a new brain, a new personality.

So far its taken my 20 minutes to type this. A lot of these negative feelings are, like the artical said, stirred from past experiences. Partly, I brought it on myself because I was highly immature. I would blurt out anything with no filter. I was called out on my hygiene, for liking pokemon and anime, and everything inbetween.

I had friends, and very greatful I did… I realize I am ranting incoherently at this point so I will conclude that my inner critic is not some malevolent voice in me ripping the potential to be a beautiful social butterfly.

It is just who I am. No positive thinking exorcises or yoga will change that. Truthfully you sound so much like my brother whom I love with all my heart. You are just a thinker! I am not one to talk about feelings of worthiness since I am here for the same reason as you. However, I can tell you this: you can be beautiful, smart, quick-witted and popular and still feel like you are nothing more than trash. I would bet any amount of money you are smarter than you think you are.

My brother is the same. Your post made me feel better though because you remind me of someone important to me. You are smarter than you know, I guarantee it. I literally hate everything about myself. On top of that, im hideous. Im thin, but i hate my body because theres nothing good about it.

Im not content with my work life, school is taking a toll on me, an all my friends are away at school so i feel alone. In all honestly i dont think theres anything positive about myself, i dont see why anyone would be attracted to me, or be interested in getting to know me.

You already are. And it really helps. This understanding of ourselves as already being beautiful, every single moment of your life, is really important for all of us. So go ahead and shine. You are beautiful and amazing person.

You actually know that, right? Admit it. This is coming from a 20 years old girl, who just noticed again in some videos that her hair look messy and sloppy.

But I am. You are. Even my brother and all those dear people feel the same way, they just wanted to change something so it would be better.

Yet, either with messy hair or with coolest hairstyle, I am beautiful. That, I am. And you are. Love, Vita:. No matter how much I achieve its not enough to feel lovable. Last year my cousin died young, she struggled with weight issues, self hatred, self destructive, drug addiction. I went away from this experience and processed it more and realized that this applies to me as well and every other person in the world. I tend to forget this experience and slip back to my old thinking patterns of not lovable, self hatred, self criticism.

Their not friends, just peers and I really hate it. Kuudere is different from tsundere because tsundere are not emotionless and express their feelings in a more loud,anger-like way. But kuuderes are just quiet and emotionless. So, I was forces to lie…. I was inside a 7th period and I wanted to quit. I told my parents about it but they kept on bugging me and such…once they agreed, I talked to the teacher and he said that i needed a parent signature.

My mind was blank when my mom asked me if I canceled the class yet and so I answered yes when I needed her signature.

I had an F- and too many absences to count. My teacher said that we were going on a field trip and that we were going to do some fundraisers to raise money. We had those 60 chocolate chocolate boxes and I only sold 30 when the deadline was due. It would be a waste to throw it away so I kept the box from the room and I gathered up some money and used that instead.

A lot of things like these kept on happening this year and I broke. Every time I even thought about my seventh period or my moms face when she saw the chocolates, I broke down right there.

And I still hate myself for it. I once was with my class and I went by a pole to be alone and a group of girls told me to sit with them. I think that humans are a disgusting species. They lie, hate, and bully so easily, without another thought. But I have mixed feelings on this subject. Just like the article said, we each have two sides, fighting for control over out body.

To be with all of these beautiful, pure creatures. I start tearing up when I try to put the pieces together. And I think that no creature deserves to be. I hate hate hate to lie but i lie. The situations and circumstances turn up in a way that i had to lie and this makes me feel so bad.

People around me consider me attractive , intelligent , smart , fashionista. They take my advices and really talk highly about me but none of them take me as a friend. I hate myself. Usually i read comments and never posted but your above comment made me reply. You sweet girl; You are about 12 or 13 I believe from your tone. Now is the hardest time to be a young teen with the way the world is. As far as the lies you told once you come clean to your parents you will feel a lot better.

Everyone makes mistakes; that is what those were. If you want to have a friend BE a friend. You only really need one or two people as friends that you can be yourself, be comfortable around. Find someone you enjoy being around and just be their friend. It really will. I have been this way for a long time now. No joke. But really, I have a lot to say. I sit in the hallways during lunch when everyone else is talking to their friends. I hear people say pretty mean things about me too.

I lie too. I tell people that I have lots of friends. I tell people that I love being alone. And really, I hate it. I hate it so much. It feels like I just want to go up to someone, anyone, and talk. I truthfully hate the person that I have become. One of the things that I hate about school is when they pick groups.

Thanks :. And if you ever want someone to talk to, feel free to send me an email. Hey, Pushin Im with you, even if im adult, i still scare of my parents. Anyway i choose to keep quiet instead of lie…. The first time i got F from bad behaviour, i didnot try to fix it, i didnot know how to fix it, i scared to reach out to parents, i ran away from teacher when she tried to let me fix it, i felt ashame of myself and scare of how the teacher will look at me or think of me…and time passed until last summer of graduating year.

I almost not graduated because of this subject. I cannot remember how it happened but lastly my father and i went to meet teacher together. They could remember only that they need to go to meet teacher and i almost not graduated but they cannot remember what i did wrong or even care anymroe about what i did and it just doesnot matter anymore.

Well, time passed, my parents forgive and forgot and i think your parents will be the same, they are too busy working.

Those bad grades or bad behaviors are not matter anymore. So, i suggest you to do like this when u face some trouble. Please thinking of urself in future, maybe next week, next month, next year,next 10 year… how this trouble will affect ur life in those time, if u lie to ur parents make u hurt now, how it will affect u in next 10 years and how it will affect them. Is there anyway to fix it. Did u try to says sorry to her yet? We had difference hobby but same way of thinking, i suppose.

I totally envy young Thai nowaday that people have more openmind about manga, animation and games. Easier to find friends with same interest. If you are not happy with this group, try to join another one until you find one. Lastly, I love Kuudere and i consider that i am one, too. O So, try to love yourself and forgive yourself before you will lose 15 years like me.

I just try to practise to not hate myself now, too. Good Luck!! I am a fat ASS never been beautiful my whole life…….. Everybody says to me that I am good natued and I cook good and I am a good student but i dont see it because I hate my self…….. The thing is that I think that if anybody is going to marry me he is not going to be happy because of my appearence…….. I see a very dark and sad Life ahead of me………………May be its because I am very materialistic and i dont see good in people Idont know………………Please someone help me……………Sometimes I wonder why didn;t God make me like those perfect bimbos I wish I was Perfect and not self loathing and depressed for eating all the time………….

Help me Iam drowning. I am No one bothers to tell us that there are far worse things in the world than being fat. Yet the burden of changing our bodies for the sake of appealing to men falls heavily on us women. I live in west Africa now. Here fat women are regarded as beautiful.