The body is usually present at wakes and viewings, which often take place at the funeral home in the days before the funeral service or at the funeral service location the day of the funeral.
Wakes and viewings are usually open to all guests, though if the family has not invited you or specified that the event is family-only, you should respect their wishes and not attend. If the body will be present and on view, you may want to prepare yourself emotionally. You should not feel pressured to view the body, and if you are uncomfortable viewing the body then you should consider not doing so.
If you'd like the view the body and it is on view, you should feel free to do so. Visitations may last over the course of many days or for a specified period of time on a single day before the funeral service. The nature of the visitation will depend on the family and their preferences and style, and you should take your cues from the atmosphere at the event. In some cases, the family will be happy to have people spend lots of time at the home, reminiscing and socializing.
In other cases, it might be most appropriate to drop in, pay your respects and offer condolences, and leave. You may find yourself invited to a funeral viewing or visitation, a wake, or a memorial service for someone who has recently passed. It can be helpful to know the differences between these services before you attend, as well as the appropriate wake vs viewing etiquette so that you know what to expect.
A memorial service is a gathering in which the family and friends of the deceased are invited to come together to remember the person who has passed. This type of service typically takes place after the funeral, so the body is usually not present, although a funeral urn may be, if the deceased was cremated. Often, there will be prayers, songs, and a eulogy. Mourners should dress the way that they would for a funeral. A visitation is a period of time in which friends and acquaintances are invited to meet with the family of the deceased and offer their condolences.
Depending on the wishes of the family, the body may be present — although this is more common during viewings and wakes. You should dress nicely, according to visitation etiquette but not necessarily as formally as you would for a funeral.
A coffin may be present at a viewing or wake, and less commonly at a visitation. During a viewing , the body of the deceased is present, often in an open casket. The deceased will have been embalmed and prepared by the funeral home, in most cases, and otherwise ready for the burial or cremation.
This is an opportunity to see the deceased one last time and say your quiet goodbyes. The viewing typically occurs right before a funeral so family and friends can be present. A wake is often very similar to a viewing, and the two terms are sometimes used interchangeably.
The main difference is often that a wake is more religious, and may include a prayer, scripture reading, or rosary said at the beginning and end.
A wake may also be more of a social event than a viewing, with a group gathering to honor the deceased before the funeral. A memorial service can be very similar to a funeral in many ways so memorial service etiquette is like funeral etiquette. Treat the service with respect and solemnity. The service may be held at a funeral home, a church or other house of worship, virtually, or outdoors.
There will typically be a set order of events, along with a eulogy, prayers or poem readings, and occasionally speeches. Visitation etiquette depends in part on where the service is taking place and how long it is set to run for. In many cases, the family will hold the visitation in their home, although they may set a specific time at the funeral home. The standard protocol for a funeral visitation is to stop by, introduce yourself to the family if needed and pay your condolences, and then leave after a short period of time.
How long you need to stay or should stay depends on several factors, such as how well you know the family, how busy they are, how much they seem to want company, and where the visitation is taking place.
You are not required to actually view the body at a funeral viewing. Many people are a bit uncomfortable with the idea of attending a viewing, but keep in mind that funeral viewing etiquette does not require you to actually look at or spend time with the deceased if you are not comfortable doing so. You should be prepared for the deceased to be in the room with you, however, and for the possibility of an open casket, which is very common.
In many cases, a viewing is not a religious service, so there may not be a formal prayer said or even any type of formal order of events. This is simply a time for you and others who knew the deceased and his or her family to stop by and say a last goodbye. A viewing will often last for several hours and you should not feel obligated to show up at the beginning or stay for the entire time.
Wear relatively formal, conservative clothing, and remember to give your condolences to any family members who are present. You may want to stay for a little while to speak with other mourners about the deceased. If you do decide to view the body, wait for a moment when no one else is with the deceased — or stand quietly nearby until other people have finished so as not to disturb them.
You now know the main differences between the two terms. This will give you a good idea whether you should attend both the wake and the funeral. Different cultures, and even different faith practices within the same religion, may utilize the wake in varying ways. Having the knowledge above may help to ease your mind about knowing what to expect should you attend any of these services. Keeping this in mind will help you come to the right decision about whether to attend the funeral, the wake, or both.
Let us know your thoughts in a comment below! Experiences of other practices and traditions than what we have described above will be particularly appreciated.
Your email address will not be published. Should I attend both the wake and the funeral? What is the difference between a wake and a funeral? Wake Definition A wake is usually held the night before a funeral service.
Funeral Definition A funeral is the formal, organized service honoring the deceased and the life that they lived. How do different cultures practice the wake? Within the Eastern Orthodox faith, the priest will begin the wake with a special prayer, called a Panikhida, and read selections from the Book of Psalms. Protestants usually hold a wake or viewing the night before or a couple of days before the service, at either the funeral home or the church.
Protestants treat the wake as a social, albeit somber, event.
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