By continuing to browse this Website, you consent to the use of these cookies. The blog O-zone reflects her incisive insights into life, relationships and contemporary living, offering a fresh, sharper and more evolved look at yourself and the world you dwell in. The blog puts forth practical, feel-good ways of dealing with contemporary chaos and the myriad internal struggles we deal with each day.
Meaningful interactions are the foundations on which social edifices stand. If we are not careful, we may soon see the end of the great art of good conversation! A good, healthy conversation adds zest to life. Yet the art is becoming rare. This is yet another exclusive human quality that technology is eroding slowly, but surely. People connect technologically — chat, exchange views, share jokes, send forwards and emoticons — but seem to have neither the patience and time, nor the ability to engage in smart, intelligent conversation.
Communicating is not the same as having a robust conversation. Whatever happened to good old conversations? Are you able to hold your own in a face-to-face conversation? Or do you seek escape behind your small touch screen or a Bluetooth device or earplugs, seeming to be always connected to somewhere far away from the here and now?
I do hope not! Good conversations are essential to mental and spiritual wellbeing. These occur at various levels. Your idea of a good conversation may be very different from that of your neighbor, but the feelings of emotional security and satisfaction it results in, are the same. In order to understand who is a good conversationalist, it is important to understand who is a bad one! Most would agree that people who talk incessantly about themselves, interrupt you repeatedly to bring in their own story, do not listen attentively, or rebut every point and treat a conversation like an argument, are all awful conversationalists!
And yes, peppering talk with invectives or abuses is hardly pleasing to anyone. Good conversationalists are rarer than you would imagine. Most garrulous people imagine themselves to be great at good dialogue, but they are nothing more than big talkers. Even those who hold others spellbound with their oratory are just charismatic talkers, not necessarily good conversationalists.
A conversation means an engagement in which all involved hold up their side of the interaction. Having a genuine interest, not an artificial one, is essential to a great conversation. Even if you apply rules 2 to 10 of being a great conversationalist, the conversation will still fall flat because there is no driving force behind the exchange. So have a genuine interest in everyone you speak to.
Move on to someone you really want to talk to. During your conversations, adopt a forward-thinking mentality. Less complaining, more solutions. Less judgment, more empathy. Doing the latter will make you a more enjoyable person to speak to. Doing the former will turn you into an energy vampire. Principle 4 of 10 Timeless Principles to be Happy teaches you how to see the positive over the negative in every situation.
Chat, discuss, and trash out ideas, but do so amiably. This means, be sensitive enough to pose questions to the other person if you have been talking for a while see 9. It also means that you should take the initiative to share more about yourself if the other person has been sharing for the most part. What do you think makes a great conversationalist? How can you apply the 10 rules to be a better conversationalist? Be sure to check out the other articles in the interpersonal communication series below!
She is a master interviewer who has conversed with thousands of personalities over her 40 year career. Not surprisingly, her Times interview was full of wisdom on how to be a fun, witty conversationalist. It has nuggets that we all can use. This holiday season, as you mix and mingle, or perhaps go on a first date, apply these tips and watch the magic happen.
This is a BETA experience. You may opt-out by clicking here. More From Forbes. Nov 13, , pm EST. Nov 13, , am EST. Nov 12, , pm EST. Nov 12, , am EST.
0コメント